Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
