just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
