this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
