I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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