I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize