I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
