I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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