but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
