i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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