So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
