I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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