We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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