I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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