Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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