Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
