Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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