About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize