Me too!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
