i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
being pregnant is like rehab
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
