check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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