do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
