You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
