were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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