Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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