Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Randomize
