Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
