he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
