What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize