he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
