Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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