Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
