i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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