I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
