I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
