billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
