Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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