Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
