I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
