Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he puts the penis in happiness.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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