Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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