I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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