Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
