your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
