either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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