He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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