Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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