That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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