I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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