i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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