If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
