school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
