508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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