i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
