oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
