Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
