You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
