Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
