I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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