I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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