Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize