There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
