Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Randomize
