I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
