just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
