Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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