Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My life is pants optional.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
