i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
