Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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